If Middlemarch Were Written In Emojis

Last month, I spent a lot of time texting various friends about my progress finishing Middlemarch. Especially on that last night: “90%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “95%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (You get the idea.) Often when I’m texting my friends, I use a lot of emojis. Emojis are like stickers for text messages. And stickers are cool.

But all that time texting about Middlemarch and using emojis got me wondering, what if Middlemarch were written mostly with emojis? It might go something like this:

002

My deepest apologies to George Eliot.

Roughly translated, it goes like this:

Dorothea is basically an angel. Blinded by her ideals, she marries Casaubon, a man old enough to be her father. They honeymoon in Italy. Dorothea, unhappy, is crying, when she is espied by Ladislaw, who more or less instantly falls in love with her. Dorothea remains very unhappy in her very unhappy marriage.

Rosamund is the prettiest girl in town and has the worst sort of princess manners. She loves a doctor. They marry. They have no money. There is ensuing anger, sadness, disillusionment, and tears.

Mary and Fred have been friends since they were children, and they love each other. Eventually they get married.

Interspersed throughout are various lengthy interludes spent with minor characters and endless prosing.

Eventually Dorothea and Ladislaw marry.

As the author herself might say, finis.

About these ads

12 thoughts on “If Middlemarch Were Written In Emojis

  1. wenzer

    Yep. That decides it. I don’t think I’ll ever finish Middlemarch. This summary was by far more entertaining.

    Reply
  2. Bel

    Not sure I really know what you are saying??? Guess I’ve not read enough of Austin or Eliot..
    Hope you come to W. WA sometime soon….would love to see you!!

    Reply
  3. Jim Shaw

    Could you do this with Ulysses? After 15 months of startstoppingrestartingstopping I Googled “why am I trying to read Ulysses?” and the first article that came up was a scholarly one that included a line to the effect that the writer had “never met a person who had not thrown the book across the room at some point.” Eagerly awaiting your version! JS

    Reply
  4. Tara

    I have a gorgeous copy of Middlemarch sitting on my shelf. This has inspired me to give it a go. I might try it after the next book I have lined up. Thanks for the simplified plot in case I get lost. =)

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Vuelta al cole | Divertinajes

  6. Pingback: From “Books of Orange Is the New Black” to Amy Tan’s meme: Digital media finds for readers | The Digital Media Curator

  7. Pingback: Lørdagslenker | mellom linjene

  8. Lainey (@lainey_hf)

    You know, there’s the ‘All-England Summarize Proust Contest’ – maybe all 4200+ pages of ‘Remembrance of Things Past’ could be handled with emojis? Would it really be that much of a challenge, given that at least 1/2 of one of the volumes consists of the description of a single party?

    Reply
  9. Pingback: This Year in Reading 2013 | Ms. Grammarian

I love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s