Or, a progress update on Middlemarch. (For the record, spelling and grammar from this text-message conversation have been corrected on both sides.)
Her: With great heaviness of heart, I just purchased Middlemarch.
Me: Woot! she said, with great enthusiasm.
Her: I’m already getting sleepy a paragraph in. That might be an upside…
Me: Haha! Texting me about paragraphic progress will help keep you awake.
Her: Haha! But I want to sleep!
<<the next day>>
Me: I made it through chapter one last night. I pat myself on the back.
Her: Haha! I’m halfway through chapter three!!! I win!!!!!!
Me: For now!!!!!!!!
I’m sure she’s still winning, though. I am through chapter four, bookmark sitting restfully at chapter five, and not feeling inspired to press on. Am I permitted to draw my conclusions after only four chapters?