Or, a progress update on Middlemarch. (For the record, spelling and grammar from this text-message conversation have been corrected on both sides.)
Her: With great heaviness of heart, I just purchased Middlemarch.
Me: Woot! she said, with great enthusiasm.
Her: I’m already getting sleepy a paragraph in. That might be an upside…
Me: Haha! Texting me about paragraphic progress will help keep you awake.
Her: Haha! But I want to sleep!
<<the next day>>
Me: I made it through chapter one last night. I pat myself on the back.
Her: Haha! I’m halfway through chapter three!!! I win!!!!!!
Me: For now!!!!!!!!
I’m sure she’s still winning, though. I am through chapter four, bookmark sitting restfully at chapter five, and not feeling inspired to press on. Am I permitted to draw my conclusions after only four chapters?
Ms. Grammarian 
::coughs:: dearest: you have leapt to the lead! I have maintained my position resolutely.
It gets better!! I promise. I DID. NOT. BELIEVE. I would make it through until Dorothea’s honeymoon. At that point I was totally hooked and wanted to see how it would end. That being said, she still uses way too many words to get to her point. As I previously said, she makes Jane Austen appear succinct.
It helps, I think, to remember that the title of the book is “Middlemarch” which means it’s about the whole friggen’ town, as opposed to being about just Dorothea, or just Doctor What’s-His-Name. When I realized that it helped me to have a big-picture view of the story, and sort of watch the overall town as I was reading, instead of focusing in on the characters I wanted to hear more about.